Sunday, November 25, 2012
Living the Life I Imagined
"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you've imagined!"
Since May of 2010, Guatemala has been on my heart. In 2010, I went on a trip with a team of 30-something people to Guatemala and fell in love. Thanks to a volcanic eruption which closed the airport, we were stuck in Guatemala City for four extra days. Four incredible days that only increased my love for my team and that country. After that trip, I had to go back. Since that trip, I have spent 6.5 months living in Guatemala. I have fallen in love with the impoverished country, the spanish language, 40 orphans living at Hogar Mama Carmen, a whole village of indigenous people, the latin-american culture, a community built on top of the city's landfill and many more people and places. It is fair to say that I have become slightly obsessed. Guatemala became my future, and I was going confidently in the direction of my Guatemalan dreams. I was going to live the life that I had imagined.
The life I imagined turned into making plans to start a nonprofit and to spend the rest of my life working in Guatemala. My plans were perfect, as expected. My plans continued for awhile and then doubt came into the picture. I started to doubt myself, my plans and worse, I started to doubt the work I thought God was doing in my life. My brain started thinking of clever solutions to end my doubt, I settled on the idea of working a full time job at McDonalds. NOT! However, I did settle on the thought that I don't always have to have every little detail and moment of my life planned. I did not let doubt take away my dreams, my passion and the life that I was imagining.
Yes, I would love to start a nonprofit. However, I think that God has some surprises in store for me. For now, I will put my plans on the back burner and just try to trust in the Lord with all of my heart and lean not on my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5).
I know that God is doing big things in me and through me, I just have to trust him. I also know that He has given me so much love for the people of Guatemala. Next month, I hope to visit Guatemala. In June, I hope to move to there and to serve. My "plan" is to move to Guatemala without (too many) plans, but with an open-mind and an open-heart. I have a feeling that God is going to provide financial support for me to stay in Guatemala as well as a whole lot of answers. Maybe I will start a nonprofit, but I don't need to have an answer right now. As far as "now" goes, I need to make God my priority. After all, without God, I wouldn't have any of these dreams or passions. God first. Guatemala second. Well, Guatemala can be third, after family & friends.
So, here I go, confidently in the direction of my dreams. Focusing on the Lord and living the life I imagined.