On May 18th, I wrote the following:
"I can love. Hopefully, through loving, people can see and learn the love of their Savior, Jesus Christ."
When I wrote that, I never realized how hard it really is to love. Honestly, loving might be nearly impossible.
On June 4th, I served food to a room full of homeless drug addicts. That was one of the most uncomfortable nights of my life. However, I know that God loves those drug addicts just as much as he love me. God helped me love those people that night. However, as I drove away from the building we were serving food in, I said, "I have the easy job. I get to spend my time loving a bunch of nearly perfect, happy, beautiful kids."
Sorry, Marcos, you were a little foolish.
On June 17th, I was in a meeting with Angel, Astrid, Mama Carmen and some other adults. These two kids have been suspended from school for the rest of the year. Skipping classes, taking items from other students, fighting and having very poor grades were a few of the reasons the school did not want them coming back. When I was in this meeting, I was saddened. Yet again, God was teaching me how to love.
That night, I realized how much anger was in the hearts of the kids.
That night, I realized how hard it is to love someone. To really love someone. Unconditionally.
That night, I realized why I am here. I am here to love.
After that meeting, I sat outside with Angel. We talked, cried and prayed.
I am continuing to learn how to love. It is hard. Sometimes, I just wish I could trade places with these kids and take their pain and anger away. But I can't.
I can love. With a lot of help from God, I am learning how to love someone more than I love myself. It is painful, frustrating, sad, and most importantly it is beautiful.
"And now these three remain; faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13